07 August 2009

My Daughter Has Blossomed

Vikram Murthy (right) says that studying in the United States has benefitted his daughter Gayatri.

By Vikram Murthy

Vikram Murthy, the father of international student Gayatri Murthy on the American University panel, tells another side of the story about international education. Murthy is an electrical engineer who lives and works in Mumbai, India.

My wife and I both welcomed the idea when Gayatri told us she was determined to pursue a postgraduate education in the United States. We did not put up any resistance, but what did bother us were two things: How would we raise sufficient funds to finance her education in the United States, and how would Gayatri be able to live independently in a strange environment?

We were very fortunate in meeting and engaging a consultant in Mumbai who counseled us through some of those problems and set many of our apprehensions to rest. After meeting him, Gayatri, my wife, and I were able to go through the whole process with a relative degree of comfort and confidence. Later Gayatri won a prestigious scholarship to study at American University, so that eased our financial concerns and, of course, made us very proud.

When it came time to face the actual separation, my wife and I were certainly more nervous. Gayatri had never lived away from home for the 22 years that she had spent with us in Mumbai. We were most apprehensive about Gayatri’s first few weeks she would spend in Washington as we had no close acquaintances there to greet her or guide her or advise her.

Gayatri was determined to travel alone, without either of us. In the end, she did locate a lady in Washington who was the sister of a close friend from India. This acquaintance received Gayatri and offered her a place to stay for a few weeks before she found her own residence.

In fairness I would say both we, the parents, and Gayatri suffered from the separation. We missed the presence of our only child each day in the evenings when we both returned from work, and she missed the warmth and comfort of home, as well as the familiarity and confidence of living in Mumbai.

Appreciating the Changes

Though we have missed her, my wife and I have seen a welcome change in Gayatri in the two years she has lived in the United States. She is so much more confident and articulate. She is able to take decisions in her personal and professional life with ease and without the need to consult us. She has become a center of conversation amongst most audiences and does it with great ease and flair — quite in contrast to her reticence and quiet nature as a child. A change in her personality began at St. Xavier’s College in Mumbai, but she has blossomed in the U.S. environment.

Other parents might ask me if they should send their child to another country as we did. I don’t have a straightforward answer. I believe that the background and adaptability of the child to an “alien” environment will depend a lot on his or her upbringing. A child from a semi-urban or rural background is going to find it harder than one brought up in cities where life is challenging and children learn to adapt more easily. The parents and their socioeconomic backgrounds will have a lot of influence on the child’s adaptability to change also. The child’s familiarity with the English language is another factor. This is natural to many Indian students who go to the United States, but not at all to others.

Notwithstanding all I have said, my advice to any parent from India is that an education abroad is an experience that will transform their child into a confident person who can live independently and take both personal and professional decisions to his or her benefit.